What You Build When Nobody's Watching

Your day job is what pays you.

What you build on nights and weekends is what calls you.

Pay attention to the difference.

There's the work you do because you're paid to do it.

And there's the work you do because you can't NOT do it.

Both can be meaningful. Both can matter. Sometimes they're the same thing.

But often, especially in the second half of life, they start to diverge.

The work that pays you is important. It provides for your family, builds your skills, gives you resources to do other things. I'm not dismissing it.

But the work that calls you? That's where your heart is trying to tell you something.

I lead a team and an internal customer relationship at Adobe. That's my day job. It's demanding, meaningful work that I don't take for granted.

But on nights and weekends, I'm building something else entirely:

Deacon Life - A community for Catholic deacons. A place to share stories, support each other, and grow in ministry together.

Emmaus Disciples - Spiritual formation and community for people walking the journey of faith.

runDis Dad - Encouraging & coaching dads to runDisney with their kids.

Lead and Keep - This. A space for leaders in the second half who are asking questions about what comes next.

Nobody asked me to build any of these.

Nobody's paying me to do this work. Not yet, anyway.

I do it because I can't NOT do it.

That's the signal.

Here's how I've learned to identify what actually matters to me:

I look at what I do when nobody's watching. When there's no paycheck. When there's no performance review. When the only accountability is internal.

What do I make time for even when I'm exhausted?

What do I think about during boring meetings?

What would I keep doing even if it never became "successful"?

The answers to those questions reveal something that job descriptions and career plans can't capture.

I stay up until midnight working on Emmaus Disciples content - not because I have to, but because I'm energized by it.

I spend Saturday afternoons thinking about what to write here - not because it's on my task list, but because the ideas won't leave me alone.

I build Deacon Life in the margins because the deacon community matters to me and I see a gap I can help fill.

That's not obligation. That's calling.

A job is what you do for compensation.

A calling is what you'd do even without it.

A job fills your bank account.

A calling fills something deeper.

Here's the important part: they can coexist.

I'm not saying quit your job and follow your passion. That advice is easy to give and hard to live - especially with a mortgage and four kids.

But I am saying: pay attention to what you build when nobody's watching.

Because it's trying to tell you something about what the second half might be for.

If you're not sure what you're being called to, try these questions:

1. What do you make time for even when you're exhausted?

Not what you should make time for. What you actually do. When you're tired and have every excuse to rest, what do you find yourself doing anyway?

For me, it's writing. It's thinking about formation and leadership and faith. Even when I'm drained from my day job, I find energy for this work.

2. What do you think about during boring meetings?

Your mind wanders where your heart wants to go. When you're stuck in a meeting that doesn't require your full attention, where does your brain drift?

I catch myself thinking about Deacon Life content. About what to write here. About the cohort I want to build. That's not distraction - that's direction.

3. What would you keep doing even if it never made money?

This is the real test. Strip away the possibility of income, recognition, or success. What would you still do?

I'd still write about leadership and faith. I'd still build community for deacons. I'd still think about how to help people navigate the second half.

The money might come eventually. But it's not why I'm doing it.

I want to be honest about something: building in the margins is hard.

You're essentially doing two jobs. One that pays, one that calls. Both demand your energy. Both matter.

There are weeks when I'm exhausted. When the margin work feels like too much on top of the day job. When I wonder if I'm crazy for trying to do both.

But here's what I've learned: you can't wait for perfect conditions.

If you wait until you have "enough time," you'll never start.

If you wait until you can quit your job, you might wait forever.

If you wait until everything's figured out, you'll miss the chance to figure it out by doing.

The building happens in the margins. That's not a bug - it's a feature.

The constraints force you to focus on what matters most. The limitations reveal how much you actually want it.

If you're building something on the side that nobody asked you to build, pay attention.

It might be a hobby. That's fine. Hobbies are great.

But it might be more than that.

It might be a signal about what the second half is for.

It might be preparation for a transition you haven't fully named yet.

It might be your heart trying to get your attention before your head catches up.

I don't know where Deacon Life, Emmaus Disciples, runDis Dad, and Lead and Keep will lead. I don't have a five-year plan for this. I'm not optimizing for an exit.

I'm just paying attention to what I build when nobody's watching.

And I'm trusting that it means something.

What are you building in the margins?

-Michael

The 5 Questions for the Second Half launches February 26.
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